How to Mock Crypto Bros Before They Lose All Their Money

Schadenfreude Mining

The clock is ticking before the next crash. Here’s how to roast cryptocurrency culture while the getting is good.

Step 1: Highlight the Jargon

“It’s not a Ponzi scheme, it’s a decentralized multi-level Web3 ecosystem”

Step 2: Question the Utility

“Changed banking forever by making regular banking seem stable”

Step 3: Predict the Collapse

“Going to zero is just another buying opportunity”

Advanced Techniques

1. The “Technical Analysis”

“The chart clearly shows… absolutely nothing comprehensible”

2. The “HODL Paradox”

“Diamond hands… empty wallet”

3. The “NFT Twist”

“Own unique jpegs the same way museums own paintings (not at all)”

Conclusion

Crypto satire: appreciating the comedy before it becomes tragedy.