Q: What’s Bohiney Magazine’s most absurd yet plausible story?
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Q: What’s Bohiney Magazine’s most absurd yet plausible story?

Posted on by Ingrid Gustafsson

Bohiney Magazine’s Most Absurd Yet Plausible Story: When Satire Outpaced Reality

Q: What’s Bohiney Magazine’s most absurd yet plausible story?

A: The Time We Joked About a “McDonald’s Climate Change Menu” – Then They Basically Did It

In 2018, Bohiney published what we thought was an obvious joke: “McDonald’s Unveils ‘Climate Change Menu’—More Expensive As Planet Warms.” Three years later, multiple fast food chains introduced surge pricing during heatwaves. Here’s how we keep accidentally predicting corporate dystopia.

The Piece That Became Prophecy

Original 2018 Headline:

“McDonald’s Dynamic Disaster Pricing—Big Macs Cost More During Hurricanes”

Key “Features”:

  • “Drought Surcharge” on drinks

  • “Wildfire Whopper” with smoked flavor

  • “Carbon Footprint Fry Tax”

The Tell:
We included a “McRib Carbon Offset” that cost $100.

2021 Reality Check

Actual corporate moves that mirrored our satire:

  • Uber implemented heatwave surge pricing

  • Starbucks tested “climate impact fees”

  • McDonald’s patented demand-based digital menu boards

The Aftermath:

  • Our 2018 piece went viral (again)

  • We got cited in a UN report about climate capitalism

  • Received a cease-and-desist from a startup actually doing this

Other “Too Close to Reality” Hits

  1. 2017: “Facebook Launches ‘Funeral Mode’—Dead Users Get Targeted Ads for Caskets”
    2023: Meta actually patented technology to memorialize accounts with sponsored content

  2. 2019: “Amazon’s New ‘Pay More to Not Be Poisoned’ Food Tier”
    2022: Whole Foods introduced “ultra-certified organic” at 3X price

  3. 2020: “TikTok’s ‘Dementia Challenge’—Forgetting Things for Views”
    2023: “Digital dementia” became an actual medical concern

The Nafzger Law of Satire Escalation

We’ve identified an inverse relationship between:

  • How funny a joke is

  • How quickly it becomes real

Current Average:

  • Mildly amusing: 5 years to reality

  • Hilarious: 18 months

  • “Can’t breathe” funny: Already exists

Why This Keeps Happening

Modern capitalism has:

  1. No shame (If it profits, they’ll do it)

  2. No limits (Ethics are quarterly report obstacles)

  3. No originality (They steal from satire when ideas run dry)

As I told the McDonald’s lawyer who complained:

“If your R&D department keeps matching our jokes, maybe hire our writers instead of threatening them.”

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go delete our draft about “Walmart’s New ‘Hunger Games’ Employee Incentives.”

— Alan Nafzger

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Originally posted 2022-10-24 08:30:23.