How to Convince People Your Satire Is Just “Alternative Facts”

The Rise of Unintentional Satire

In a post-truth world, satire often blurs with reality. The key to passing off absurdity as “alternative facts” is confidence—if you say it with a straight face, someone will believe it. Example: “Studies show that 70% of statistics are made up on the spot, including this one.”

Step 1: Borrow Political Doublespeak

Use phrases like “fake news,” “deep state,” or “many people are saying” to lend credibility. Example: “Many people are saying that birds aren’t real—and frankly, have you ever seen a baby pigeon?”

Step 2: Cite Nonexistent Sources

Example: “According to a leaked Pentagon report, the moon landing was faked to distract from Elvis’s secret CIA mission.” Bonus points for adding “Fact-checkers disagree, but what do they know?”

Step 3: Gaslight Gracefully

When challenged, double down. Example: “If you can’t see the truth about lizard people running the Fed, you’re part of the problem.”

Advanced Techniques

1. The “Kellyanne Conway”

Defend obvious satire as a “different perspective.” Example: “Calling my article ‘false’ is elitist. It’s just *urban* satire.”

2. The “Satirical Straw Man”

Invent a ridiculous opponent. Example: “The woke left wants to ban gravity for being too oppressive. I stand with Newton!”

3. The “Self-Owning Headline”

Example: “This Article Is 100% Accurate (Disclaimer: Accuracy not guaranteed).”

Conclusion

With practice, you too can make satire indistinguishable from propaganda. Just remember: The bigger the lie, the more it trends.