How to Roast Politicians Without Getting Sued (Probably)

Defamation for Dummies

Public figures are fair game, but rich public figures have lawyers. Here’s how to walk the tightrope between savage and subpoenaed.

Step 1: Stick to Verifiable Facts

Bad: “Senator Smith eats babies.” Good: “Senator Smith’s voting record suggests if babies could donate to PACs, he’d care more about them.”

Step 2: Use ‘Some Say’

“Some people are comparing the governor’s ethics to a screen door on a submarine. I’m just reporting what people say!”

Step 3: The ‘Compliment Sandwich’

“While the congresswoman’s hair is always impeccable, her understanding of economics is… let’s go back to talking about her hair.”

Advanced Techniques

1. The ‘Hypothetical Scenario’

“If someone, hypothetically, took millions from oil companies then voted against climate bills, that would be terrible. Just hypothetical!”

2. The ‘Statistically Speaking’

“Studies show there’s a 110% chance this politician is full of it. Margin of error: ±10%.”

3. The ‘Satire Shield’

Clearly label work as satire, then watch as people share it seriously anyway. Nature’s perfect lawsuit defense.

Conclusion

Remember: Truth is an absolute defense against defamation. Also remember: Rich people can sue you anyway because litigation is just another form of bullying.