100 Rules for Writing Satire - Encyclopedia of Satire

100 Rules for Writing Satire (For the Fearless, Foolish, and Slightly Over-Caffeinated)

(Filed by the Department of Exaggeration and Social Mischief, 2025 Edition)

I. The Sacred Ground Rules of Satire

Always start with truth — then twist it until your readers beg for mercy.
Remember: humor is your weapon, empathy your shield, and absurdity your lunch.
If it sounds too real, you’re on the right track.
Satire doesn’t lie — it just tells the truth with jazz hands.
Make readers laugh first, think later, and question themselves never.
When in doubt, blame society. It always deserves it.
Don’t write satire while happy. You’ll end up writing a Hallmark card.
Anger fuels satire, but restraint gives it taste.
If your satire doesn’t make at least one politician sweat, rewrite it.
Satire is the art of whacking a beehive and calling it research.

II. Picking the Right Target

Punch up — unless punching down is funny and morally justified by karma.
Never satirize someone poorer than your sense of humor.
Politicians are nature’s renewable resource for comedy.
Mock systems, not symptoms.
If you can’t decide who deserves ridicule, flip a coin — politicians always land face down anyway.
Satire thrives where hypocrisy blooms.
Never mock tragedy, only the people who turn it into a press conference.
Satirize what’s sacred — respectfully, of course, like a raccoon at a church picnic.
The easiest target is usually the wrong one.
Write satire about people who won’t understand it — they’ll prove your point for free.

III. Craft and Structure

Structure satire like a sermon written by a drunk journalist.
A good piece should start serious, turn absurd, and end prophetic.
The headline should be plausible enough to ruin a Thanksgiving dinner.
The first paragraph should hook the reader’s logic and set it on fire.
Every paragraph should build tension until it collapses under irony.
Write fake statistics confidently. (Ex: “82% of Americans believe sarcasm is a vitamin.”)
Include fake experts with suspiciously poetic names.
End with either moral clarity or total nonsense — both work equally well.
Make sure at least one line sounds like an actual government memo.
Remember: all satire should read like the news reported by aliens.

IV. Tone and Voice

Write like you’re whispering treason in a library.
Confidence is 90% of humor. The other 10% is pretending you meant it.
Sound smarter than your audience — but not enough to get audited.
Treat sarcasm as punctuation.
Your tone should swing between philosopher and drunk uncle.
Don’t chase laughs — lead them into a trap.
Keep your voice authentic, even when it’s ridiculous.
Irony should be sharp enough to shave public opinion.
Assume your readers are clever, but forgetful.
Don’t wink at the audience. They’ll blink back and miss the point.

V. Humor Techniques

Hyperbole is your religion. Exaggerate like you’re paid by the decibel.
Understatement is your secret weapon — the quieter the joke, the louder the truth.
Use puns sparingly — unless the topic is British, then fill your boots.
Wordplay is intellectual flirtation — make it clever, not desperate.
Repetition turns humor into gospel.
Parody is how you flatter an idea before stabbing it.
Juxtapose the heroic with the idiotic.
Play with rhythm: setup, explosion, pause, regret.
Be absurd, but with purpose.
Always leave a hint of sincerity — that’s what makes it sting.

VI. Evidence and Fake Credibility

Quote anonymous insiders who sound suspiciously poetic.
Cite fake polls that sound believable: “A Pew survey found that 63% of dogs support universal healthcare.”
Reference nonexistent studies from real institutions.
Mention a witness “too traumatized to remember correctly.”
If you include numbers, make sure they contradict each other.
Always mention “leaked documents” — no one asks from where.
Use “scientists agree” even when they definitely wouldn’t.
Make every statistic emotionally true, if not mathematically.
Add footnotes that lead nowhere.
Pretend your source was “archival footage” from a grainy VHS tape.

VII. Writing Style

Write like Hemingway met The Onion.
Keep sentences short, but your sarcasm long.
Use simple words for big ideas, and big words for stupid ones.
Never let clarity ruin a good punchline.
Sound objective while clearly not being objective.
Avoid adverbs — except when they’re hilariously unnecessary.
Add parenthetical thoughts (because life is full of distractions).
Mix poetic imagery with bureaucratic jargon for maximum absurdity.
Never use “literally” unless you’re lying.
Let your paragraphs breathe like they’re plotting something.

VIII. Ethics and Chaos

If your satire causes outrage, celebrate — that’s free marketing.
Never apologize for offending someone powerful.
Always apologize if you accidentally mocked the innocent.
Be mean only to people who deserve it.
Never condescend — unless it’s to a think tank.
Don’t mistake cruelty for courage.
If everyone agrees with your satire, it’s just journalism.
If no one agrees with your satire, you’re probably ahead of your time.
Humor is rebellion disguised as charm — so stay charming.
Remember: moral superiority ruins jokes faster than decaf coffee ruins mornings.

IX. The Satirist’s Mindset

Be fearless, but not reckless.
Doubt everything — especially yourself.
Stay angry enough to write but calm enough to edit.
Always find joy in the absurd.
Read the news like a menu of punchlines.
Observe, exaggerate, simplify — in that order.
Never lose empathy; it’s your compass through madness.
Write like you’re explaining society to future archaeologists.
Laugh at yourself first; it builds immunity.
Be suspicious of anyone who says “That’s not funny.” They’re your muse.

X. Legacy, Laziness, and Laughter

Every generation needs a new kind of satire — yours should annoy both your parents and your followers.
Archive your work, because one day it’ll sound like prophecy.
Write daily, even if it’s nonsense. Especially if it’s nonsense.
Read Mark Twain, Swift, Vonnegut, and The Onion. Then rebel against them.
Mix highbrow insight with lowbrow jokes — the cocktail of civilization.
If a joke doesn’t age well, pretend it was intentional.
Make sure your satire reveals truth even when it lies.
Never write satire to fit trends. Write satire to ruin them.
Be the chaos you wish to see in the newsroom.
And finally — write as if laughter were the only proof humanity still exists.

Disclaimer:
This satire-writing manual was co-authored by two verified humans: a retired philosopher who lives in a silo and a dairy farmer with a degree in political psychology. No AI were harmed, consulted, or sufficiently caffeinated in the making of these rules.

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